Organic-Ally

When my son was born I had this inordinate fear, an overwhelming fear, totally illogical fear, that he would be gay (not in the "happy" sense). After years of parenthood now I realize that even if he did decide to be gay, I as a parent, would still love him. I would not abandon him. My Christian response to this debate is -- and I am not ashamed to say that I am a committed, Bible-believing Christian -- this is how I imagine God would respond to homosexuals. He still loves them nonetheless. They are still his creation, and he loves them one and all. Some Christians shorten this principle as "hate the sin, love the sinner". Of course it is not nice to be called a sinner, but that is what we are, if we believe in what the Bible says about our "fallen nature". What would Jesus do? (WWJD?) We read in the Gospels that Jesus associated with those who are the lowest of the low in his time on earth: the prostitutes, the lepers, the tax-collectors. Inde...

In my last visit to Singapore I (or rather my sister) managed to retrieve an old plastic folder of my newspaper clippings. I used to write letters to the local press (nothing's changed) as well as occasional "Analysis" pieces for the Sunday Times . In my folder I found a clipping from 7th April 1985, a letter entitled: If we took the Master at his word . Back then we were admonished by a senior statesman to follow a "Confucian ethic". I attach the text of this letter in full below: =========== It was interesting to have a People's Action Party Member of Parliament quote Confucius in support of Confucius policies. For if we are going to take Master Kung at his word, life in Singapore would be very different. For example, the Sage teaches that there should be no distinction of classes in education. If we accept that, streaming must go. Leonard Hsu, in The Political Philosophy of Confucianism , writes: "Equity, in Confucius philosophy, condem...

The excitement over the forthcoming General Election in Singapore is palpable, even where I am, miles away from home. It reminded me of the elections between 1981 and 1984, when I was often worried over whether an increase in bus fares would mean I could not afford to eat, given my meagre income giving private tuition as an undergraduate. I don't remember much of elections since then, and in particular in 2006. 2006 was when (1) my son had the most difficult time at school before his special education needs were identified, (2) my husband was very ill, and (3) my business was in its infancy. It has been said of British politics prior to 1997 when the Labour Party came into power, that it was not that the electorate wanted Conservative rule, but that there was no "credible opposition". I remember how every time the then PM John Major came on radio I switched it off. His "back to basics" rhetoric was torn to shreds as minister after minister, politician ...

The potatoes in my garden are going berserk. Every time I see new leaves I cover them with compost (as per instructions). If I put compost on it last thing at night, new growth appears the following morning. If I cover it with compost in the morning, the leaves break through again by the end of the day. New leaves appear despite the compost. Or is it because of the compost? I’ve been baking my own bread. In the temperate clime here it takes a long time for bread dough to prove (rise). But when it has risen to the right size, it takes but a few minutes to bake, and then soon we can tuck into delicious warm bread. When it’s the season for potatoes to grow, nothing would stop it once it finds moist, fertile ground. Fed with alternative views via the internet and watered by rising dissatisfaction, the political ground in Singapore is fertile for opposition growth. The ruling party might dig up the dirt and heap it on the opposition. But mudslinging and dirt (as compost is but ...

It's been a long while since I last posted. Together with all the usual busy-ness of life during this time of year I had been doing my weekly stint at a local charity which gives advice on all areas of life. (This means I have less time to run my business, but never mind.) Of course we are not know-it-alls. We merely have the resources to point people in the right direction. Some folk who come in need more help than others. For these we spend more time with them and help with writing letters, making phone calls, etc. My role in this charity is to assess within as short a time as possible how we might (or not) help the "client". We get all sorts. People asking about neighbour disputes over boundary fences, pensions and how these affect their current benefits, whether they are genuinely required to pay underpaid taxes because HMRC completely fouled up, domestic violence, how to apply for benefits for 19-year-olds, etc. We get the few odd-balls, for want of a better w...

First Tunisia, then Egypt and now Libya is at the brink as I write. People power. Gaddaffi sees himself as a revolutionary leader, not a president, and so cannot resign, as the people demanded. Revolutionary leaders ought to be respected for their vision, for their fortitude and for their ability to bring about revolution and surviving. When we look at the east Asian countries, not excluding Singapore, we see historians having rather nice things to say of leaders who took us out of colonial rule, hailing these as "fathers" of the nation. Problem is such leaders, after being comfortably in unopposed power (dictatorship?) for years often forget that whilst the nation might owe them a lot, the nation does not owe them EVERYTHING. The rot sets in when such leaders begin to see and appropriate their nation's wealth as their own. They start enriching themselves, and their families, blurring the line between what belongs to the nation and what belongs to the individual. Worse, ...

Yesterday was a difficult day. At my CAB session I had a young man who refused to leave my room because he had no money. What was I supposed to do? I am only a volunteer here. I have done all that I could to help him, as the last person he saw did, but if he did not help himself to resolve the situation he was in, what could we do? Do we let him keep coming back and beg for emergency money? Then you realize that at the coalface of this "Big Society" answers are not always easy. Today was a much better day. On the day that we read of 50% of five-year-old boys are falling behind, I had six (SIX!) new mothers at our Toddler Group. Many are first-time mothers. It was especially interesting (encouraging, even) to see two mothers using the "time-out" for misbehaving two-year-olds. There is hope. I also noted to a childminder that one of her charges was really good at looking after himself (took off his coat, hung it up on another child's pushchair). It appears that he...

Yesterday I was listening to Today in the morning and someone used the term "chinese whispers" (re: how suspect treated in Bristol murder) and I felt very uncomfortable. Affronted. Why "Chinese"? Should I make a complaint to BBC and campaign for a ban on the use of "Chinese whispers" with its negative connotation? (Just kidding.) It's the new Chinese lunar year today and I am quite excited (but tired). I am salivating at the pictures posted by friends on FB. The eve of Chinese New Year is when families gather for the Reunion Dinner. I remember having to wait for hours for sister to come back from her nursing shift and/or father from his new year's eve haircut. Then we tuck in. Ah! I enjoy most the thrill of putting on my new pyjamas. Mum could not always afford to buy me new clothes -- going-out clothes -- but she would always used to buy me pyjamas (they were very cheap). So I give my son new pyjamas, too. Except that his cost a bit more. Few peo...

In my late parents' flat was a stone that was often left underneath a chair in the living room. I remember my father being given that stone (nearly six inches long) by a friend soon after we moved to the Tanglin Halt flat. He said to rub his feet on the stone for good health. I was only very young then and I thought: was there magic in this stone? how could rubbing one's feet on this stone give one good health? Father didn't actually use it as instructed. It was just there, left there, for years and years. At university I remember a lecturer talking about traditional medicine. He spoke disparagingly of such, referring to "a bit of dried bark". How could we place our faith on the healing powers of a bit of dried bark when we have the whole backing of science on antibiotics, etc.? You see, where I was growing up, we revered everything that was "scientific". The west was scientific, so we revered it. Anything that was non-western and/or non-scientific was d...

This time every year we run a Christmas party for the children and their parents/carers who bring them regularly. We provide party food for the children and the adults are asked to bring food or give £3 towards food. We give each child and adult a Christmas present. The money for the food and presents comes from what is left over from the £1.50 we collect every week, after we have provided drinks and biscuits for both children and adults, craft materials for the children, etc. We also invest in new toys and equipment regularly. Mdm P is a parent who usually arrives quite late. Sometimes after I've put my moneybox away and I would say, "Pay next week." But she'd forget to pay the following week, especially if someone else was standing in for me. In fact, even if she did come early-ish, she would shuffle about, taking ages to look for her money. Sometimes I have to confront her (which I find very embarrassing) to say, "Have you registered?" and she would claim...

This time of year, every year, I dread having to do my accounts for tax purposes. I am fairly numerate, but when it comes to accounting, I wallow in the abyss between the debits and credits. My dear husband, trained in accounting, thankfully tolerates sitting down with me to sort out the numbers. Always we row over my poor book-keeping(??), my lack of analysis, and ... O dear! So last year, for Christmas, I was given Book-keeping for Dummies which I attempted to read, and even did exercises, etc. Last Saturday we sat down to do the accounts. I had made a start on the Trial Balance and the numbers on various bank accounts were adding up properly, etc. But still I managed to put some DRs and CRs in the wrong columns -- which he spotted, and I failed to find a record of my last payment to the accountant (!). But, BUT, we managed to balance the account without getting too cross with each other. Whew! Profit/Loss? Apparently I made a tiny, teeny profit, not enough to buy a half-decent han...

Isn't it ironic that someone who does not know how to take good pictures to profit from market-place websites like Etsy should have one of her photos featured in the local papers? Sadly it was the photo of my 'little brother' "Big Ben" in a tribute page . We looked at our photos of Ben. They are either of him with hands in his pockets or arms around a little baby. The photo here is actually one of him with our new-born son ten-and-something years ago. We knew then that he would have made a good father, and we were right. Sadly his daughters now won't have him around any more. Our prayers are with your family, Ben.

This was going round the Internet. There is no certainty over its authorship, and the piece has been called a "hoax" and all that. Still it is worth reading, methinks. When pondering the question of taxes and the structure of our tax system in general please refer to this explanation using the language of Beer !! Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this; The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1 The sixth would pay $3 The seventh would pay $7 The eighth would pay $12 The ninth would pay $18 The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59 So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy withthe arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer...

Yesterday was a very sad day at church. Last Sunday we heard that we cannot put God in a box as we looked at the passage in the Book of Samuel and the way the Ark of the Covenant was treated and feared. The congregation was bowed by the news of a serious house fire that left one of our church leaders and his wife (a paediatrician) in ICU. Later that day we learned the news that Ben, a Microsoft engineer, had been called home. Smoke inhalation had led to cardiac arrest. And the young man who first came to our church 11 years ago, spent Christmas with us, gone away, come back, got married, had children, was now back in the arms of Jesus. Yesterday was the first day back at church together for many of us. There was such an outpouring of grief. Ben was special. Ben was much loved. I spent time with his mum last Friday. O, how we cried. "Why? Why? Why did God take him at the prime of his life? Why did He not take me instead?" Ben's mum cried. We will never understand. I could,...

I find it hard to believe that. My eldest sister. Sixty. And she spent four hours working at McDonald's today, because the manager there could see that her work ethos was so different from that of Generation Y (or X or Z?). But she had a run-in with a much younger staff member who did not realize that she was a champion french fries fryer whose "just-in-time" technique was exemplary. Sister has a full-time job in accounts. She 'retired' and started doing some hours at M's, but was soon offered a job elsewhere. M's called her up, asking her to work Sundays. Actually Big Sister is very good at audit/accounts but never quite bothered to get her accountancy qualifications. I remember her talking for hours on the phone trying to explain to her best friend the difference between debits and credits, assets and liabilities. I look back at my young life with great sentimentality today because the talk in the UK this week was -- still -- on cutting publi...

In my short walk to the Post Office and back I was struck by three family situations. #1: Little blonde toddler running after balding dad who went, "Come on, catch up with your gingerbread Dad." #2: Dad and son had just crossed the road and dad had swooped son into his arms. Both having a lovely chat. #3: Attention drawn to child (about 11-12 years old) stamping and completely destroying a pair of glasses on the ground. It was a family of mother plus three small children plus this lad. They must have just come from the cinema and had been given those pretty sturdy 3-D glasses. Mum was tending to a much younger child when the oldest child stamped on the glasses. Mum: "Any why did you have to do that?" Boy: "Because no one would recognize me." Mum: "Now pick up those bits and put them in the bin." I don't know what transpired before this incident. But the look on the boy's face and his manner suggested to me that he needed some help with an...

Earlier this evening I said to "my boys" how I always enjoyed our meal times together. Son was telling good jokes and giving good reports of life at school. What more do I want? Had to explain how when I was his age meal times were served over two hours. Because of the wide range of our ages and the two-session school system, my siblings and I never seemed to sit down at the same table. Either I came home far too late to eat with any of the family (older siblings would have eaten and gone onto evening classes) or I had to eat way too early before I set off for school. That is why I always made it a point that our family sat down together for meals. No TV. No books. And lately no talk about Lego and computer games. We're at the end of our first half-term. There has been many changes, not least of all that son is walking to and from school by himself. He's supposed to be at a 'silly age'. But he's also getting more and more responsible and I AM NOT COMPLAINI...

Woohoo! And what are they saying? Apparently: "governments need to cut benefits and tackle restrictive practices and regulations in the labour market to boost employment levels". What does this mean? Minimum wage, maximum hours, and everything in between? Right. Original report here . Who would win the Nobel Prize for saying that "ethical" employment practices would benefit all?

Sunday morning and having breakfast with son. Somehow we drifted into a discussion on asking the right questions. My point was as we grow up and are being introduced to new knowledge, knowing the right answers is important. But as we progress up the learning ladder it is not knowing the answers but knowing which questions to ask that matter most. It is the case in research. The whole point of research is finding the answers. What answers we find is directly correlated with the questions we ask. So this report on How Fair is Britain? appears to have the statistics for all sorts of un/fairness. My question to my son is: Were they asking the right questions? Take the issue of gender and how boys do not know how to sit still. Or sitting still – something girls tend to be better at. "So a boy can't sit still, so he gets told off, so he starts to feel like a bad boy, so he starts to behave like a bad boy, so he gets told off some more, so he gets angry, so the teacher gets angry an...

(A shorter, less controversial version of this was published in the Straits Times online section on 11th October. I had assumed that the Editor was not going to run it. Apologies for the overlaps.) The English-Singlish debate has thrown up a vociferous group defending the use of Singlish, largely because they see Singlish as being tied up with a Singapore identity. (I tried to explain how being a good Singaporean should not preclude us from learning to speak good English in a letter to the press .) This group seems to be made up of people who are able to speak (or at least write) excellent English when they choose to. There is a deafening silence, at least in the English cyber-media (and understandably so), from the Singlish-speaking group who could most benefit from learning to speak good English. If I were a Marxian sociologist (not the same as being a Marxist, nota bene ) I would say that this ‘good English’ group own the “means of production” and the ‘Singlish’ group do not. In or...